word 21:Kitchen & Cooking word:

idioms 21:

pat sb/yourself on the back
to praise someone or feel pleased with yourself for doing something well:
• She should pat herself on the back and take a well-earned break.
• Too many people are patting the players on the back and telling them how great they are.

a pat on the back :
INFORMAL praise for something that you have done well:
• I think you all deserve a pat on the back for your hard work.
• She deserves a pat on the back for keeping things going while you were away. [often + for]

Pat on the shoulder:


swallow your pride: to do something even though it embarrasses you or you feel that you should not have to do it:
• He'll have to swallow his pride and apologize.
• I swallowed my pride and did as I was told.


To be in tune with sb/sth :
to be able to realize, understand, or agree with what someone else thinks or wants:
• He sees himself as a political outsider who is in tune with the American voters. --opposite be out of tune with sb/sth

To say sth under your breath:
in a very quiet voice:
• "Son of a bitch," Bill muttered under his breath.


To hate sb guts:

to dislike someone very much:
• The two of them hate each other's guts.

To have bone to pick with sb :
SPOKEN used to tell someone that you are annoyed with them and want to talk about it:
• I have a bone to pick with you! Why didn't you tell me Sheila was coming over tonight?

To take sth with a grain of salt:
to not completely believe what someone tells you because you know that they often lie or are wrong:
• When Kevin talks sometimes you have to take it with a grain of salt.

To play the second fiddle to sb:
to be slightly lower in rank or less important than someone or something else:
• He was never more than a B-movie actor, playing second fiddle to actors like Errol Flynn.

Beginnings and Endings

Beginnings and endings are so similar. Each is the start of an unknown journey, yet both are equally important and are journeys we have no choice but to take.

Learning to live with the death of a person or persons I love is teaching me more about myself and about living. I am more complex than I realized, and yet I'm honest about my weaknesses. I am in the process of learning that weakness is a strength, not a flaw. It is a bittersweet gift given to those of us who have earned it. Through my weakness, I build my path, yellow brick by yellow brick, living in a world that has changed forever, and one that will continue to be filled with unknowns. Through sorrow, I have grown to understand what is truly important. I have forgiven things I may not have prior to my loss, and I have come to truly know that in the end, love is all that we take home.

Loss is all too familiar to me. Six days before my mother died, my paternal grandmother passed on. Days later after Mom died, Daddy and I felt emotionally bankrupt and dazed. We could barely face the gravity of pain in our hearts. As Daddy and I planned my mother's funeral and did all the chores that go along with that, we carried my then four-month-old son with us, faced with the beginning and end of life in the same moments.

Through our shared loss, Daddy and I began a relationship that we probably would have otherwise never known. We grew closer, becoming each others bridge to the past, as well as each other's shoulder to lean on.

Daddy, though, was never quite the same after Mom died. He tried to be happy and move forward, but he got stuck in what he missed so deeply. His emotional and physical health suffered steadily.

In early July of the year Daddy died, my husband, Paul; our son, Jeffrey, Sylvia and her husband, Larry, and I went for a much-needed vacation in Mexico. I was restless, and my thoughts were home with Daddy.

One evening, I went and sat on the balcony. While listening to the waves crash against the rocks, I bad a "talk" with my mother as I often did and still do. I asked Mom to help Daddy find more joy in life, to help him be healthier physically, and if that was not possible, to take him Home where he would be with her and out of emotional and physical pain. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I felt guilty for the last part of my request.

I went back inside and stood by the kitchen window, feeling sad and even more guilty. Just then, Sylvia shouted, " Nancy, come here!" I ran into the other room expecting to see my son with a bump or scrape, and instead saw Sylvia pointing across the room.

She said, "The light just flickered on and off, and I just saw your mother walk by with the sweetest smile. She was wearing a light blue sweat suit outfit."

I had to sit down upon hearing that.

I had just asked Mom for help, and there she was, as always, at my side when I needed her. The amazing thing is that Sylvia described the blue sweat suit that my mother wore to a frazzle. I used to tease her, asking her if that was the only one she owned. She would just smile and say, "It's my favorite, and so comfy."

I still have that sweat suit in my dresser drawer. Shortly after we returned home, Daddy went into a rapid physical and emotional decline. Here was my father, this strong man, who protected me and raised me in an old-fashioned, strict atmosphere, teaching me integrity and responsibility and so much more, and now he was dying before my eyes.

I felt that he was leaving me, too -- the child inside of me was losing her way home. He raised me to be strong, and I feared that I would disappoint him because I was falling apart. The reality of it all paralyzed me.

I was afraid, since Daddy was my safety net. I just thought, Oh no, not again. Not now, it's too soon. I won't survive. Then I thought, How selfish and narrow of me. But I couldn't stop feeling increasing panic. Daddy died late that July.

I had promised him that he wouldn't die alone. I told him I would be there, and I just missed being with him, which also flooded me with guilt. I actually still haven't completely forgiven myself. When I arrived at the hospital and saw him lying still in his bed, I apologized for not being with him. Paul was waiting for me and was trying to help me deal with my guilt and pain, but all the love he gave me in those moments could not save me from the internal devastation that overcame me.

Losing my remaining parent was worse than I could have ever imagined in my worst nightmares. My heart did feel broken and hollow. I think I survived it initially because my husband and son gave me love and patience and allowed me my solitude for as long as I needed it (and sometimes still need). Sylvia and her husband, Larry, took my irrational and urgent phone calls at all times of the day or night and talked me through many panic attacks. I was also blessed with some precious people (you know who you are) who let me be a child and held me up so I could walk through the thick fog that surrounded me daily.

I felt as if I were seven years old, a small girl in the night calling for Daddy to watch me walk down the long dark hall, as he always did when I was a little girl. I would ask him, "Daddy can you see me? Are you watching me?" He always said, "Yes I can see you. Daddy will make sure you're safe." I prayed that he was watching me then, that he would help me make it down that long dark hallway again, because I was so very scared. I still pray that he's watching me now.

When we become motherless, fatherless, childless, or widowed, the experience takes our breath away. We cannot find anywhere to go where we can make sense of our feelings. We turn around and around, trying to find the way out of the maze of loneliness in the aftermath of loss. The moment we lose someone who is a part of our heart, we are forever changed. That which does not kill us, in my opinion, defines who we become. Knowing that there is nothing that can change what has happened sends waves of panic and anxiety through our every cell and makes us feel fragmented. Even though we know the person we have loved and now lost in the physical realm is safe and happy on the Other Side, we want him or her to be here with us. We still want that relationship.

I have found that being an adult all the time is exhausting. Sometimes I just want to lay my head down so that someone will stroke my hair and tell me that every thing will be all right. I am blessed that my husband, Paul; a dear girlfriend; and my precious mother-in-law, Sylvia, all give me unconditional love and understanding.

I have had many well-meaning people ask me, "Aren't you over this yet? Just pull yourself up and keep going:" I have never wasted time trying to push away my feelings. I don't have to pull myself up and be tough. How can you forget or get over someone who has filled your heart with unbelievable joy, someone whom you have loved and who has loved and cherished you -- someone who has changed your life? It doesn't even make sense. It's too much to expect of a human being.

Realization
If my heart aches any more, I feel that it might explode. I stop and breathe deeply and slowly I give myself permission to become familiar with the physical panic associated with my deep loss. I recognize it as a sign that I am alive, and a loving person. I close my eyes and think of you sitting across the table from me, smiling. Your smile has always given me great joy and comfort. I allow myself to be comforted by you now.

Word 20:Driving words

What is correct?

a -I am studying at the university of london?
b -I am studying at the london university ?

a - Once indoors , he immediately put off his wet clothes and dried himself.
b - Once indoors , he immediately took off his wet clothes and dried himself.

a- The children were told not to talk to strange people.
b- The children were told not to talk to strangers .

a- The day finished worst than it began.
b- The day finished worse than it began.

a- I'm sorry to cause you so much trouble.
b- I'm sorry to cause you so many trouble.

a- We all thought he was saying the truth.
b- We all thought he was telling the truth.

a- One of children wanted to go to the toilet.
b- One of children wanted to go to toilet.

a- The are hundreds of millions of stars in the space .
b- The are hundreds of millions of stars in space .

a- The television comapny receives most of its money from propaganda.
b- The television comapny receives most of its money from advertising.

a- I've been invited to a party .
b- I've been invited on a party .

a- The sun shines here everyday.
b- The sun shines here every day.

a- He's gone to buy a fresh bread.
b- He's gone to buy some fresh bread.

a- 'Hwllo , John . How are you ? ' very fine, thank you.
b- 'Hwllo , John . How are you ? ' fine, thank you.

a- It will not be long before scientists invent a cure for this terrible disease.
b- It will not be long before scientists discover cure for this terrible disease.

Language barriers

Can a concept exist without words to describe it?

TAKE heart, those of you who struggled with maths at school. It seems that words for exact numbers do not exist in all languages. And if someone has no word for a number, he may have no notion of what that number means.
The Pirahã, a group of hunter-gatherers who live along the banks of the Maici River in Brazil, use a system of counting called “one-two-many”. In this, the word for “one” translates to “roughly one” (similar to “one or two” in English), the word for “two” means “a slightly larger amount than one” (similar to “a few” in English), and the word for “many” means “a much larger amount”. In a paper just published in Science, Peter Gordon of Columbia University uses his study of the Pirahã and their counting system to try to answer a tricky linguistic question.
This question was posed by Benjamin Lee Whorf in the 1930s. Whorf studied Hopi, an Amerindian language very different from the Eurasian languages that had hitherto been the subject of academic linguistics. His work led him to suggest that language not only influences thought but, more strongly, that it determines thought.
While there is no dispute that language influences what people think about, evidence suggesting it determines thought is inconclusive. For example, in 1972, Eleanor Rosch and Karl Heider investigated the colour-naming abilities of the Dani people of Indonesia. The Dani have words for only two colours: black and white. But Dr Rosch and Dr Heider found that, even so, Dani could distinguish and comprehend other colours. That does not support the deterministic version of the Whorf hypothesis.
While recognising that there are such things as colours for which you have no name is certainly a cognitive leap, it may not be a good test of Whorf's ideas. Colours, after all, are out there everywhere. Numbers, by contrast, are abstract, so may be a better test. Dr Gordon therefore spent a month with the Pirahã and elicited the help of seven of them to see how far their grasp of numbers extended.
Using objects with which the participants were familiar (sticks, nuts and—perhaps surprisingly—small batteries), he asked his subjects to perform a variety of tasks designed to measure their ability to count. Most of these tests involved the participant matching the number and layout of a group of objects that Dr Gordon had arranged on a table.
The tests began simply, with a row of, say, seven evenly spaced batteries. Gradually, they got more complicated. The more complicated tests included tasks such as matching numbers of unevenly spaced objects, replicating the number of objects from memory, and copying a number of straight lines from a drawing.
In the tests that involved matching the number and layout of objects they could see, participants were pretty good when faced with two or three items, but found it harder to cope as the number of items rose. Once it was beyond eight, they were getting it right only three-quarters of the time. The only exception was in those tests that used unevenly spaced objects—an arrangement that can be perceived as a group of clusters. Here, performance fell off when the number of objects was six, but shot up again when it was between seven and ten. Dr Gordon suggests that the participants used a “chunking” strategy, counting the clusters and the numbers of objects within each cluster separately.
Things were worse when the participants had to remember the number of objects in a layout and replicate it “blind”, rather than matching a layout they could see. In this case the success rate dropped to zero when the number of items became, in terms of their language, “many”. And line drawing produced the worst results of all—though that could have had as much to do with the fact that drawing is not part of Pirahã culture as it did with the difficulties of numerical abstraction. Indeed, Dr Gordon described the task of reproducing straight lines as being accomplished only with “heavy sighs and groans”.
The Pirahã are a people who have steadfastly resisted assimilation into mainstream Brazilian culture. Their commerce takes the form of barter, with no need to exchange money. Exact numbers do not exist in their language simply because there is no need for them. And in this case, what you do not need, you do not have. At least in the field of maths, it seems, Whorf was right.

Culture Quiz

1. If you’re doing business with a German, you have to shake hands
a. when you meet
b. when you leave
c. when you meet and when you leave

2. In the Middle East you have to give presents to business contacts
a. in private
b. in public
c. every time you meet

3. If you’re giving a present to your Latin American customer, you mustn’t give

a. cutlery
b. food and drink
c. a clock

4. If an Indian says ‘Come any time,’ he or she expects you to
a. arrange a visit immediately
b. visit him/her the next day
c. ignore the invitation

5. You can’t do business in Muslim countries
a. on Wednesdays
b. on Fridays
c. on Sundays

6. If an American nods his/her head, it probably means
a. I understand
b. Yes
c. I’m interested

7. At a social occasion with an Indian client,
a. you can discuss business
b. you mustn’t discuss business
c. you don’t have to discuss business

8. If you’re doing business in Thailand, you must
a. shake hands firmly
b. bow
c. make sure you don’t touch your head

9. If a Japanese person gives you their business card, you have to
a. take it with both hands and study it carefully
b. put it straight into your wallet or pocket
c. write notes about them on it

10. If you’re in a pub in England, you have to buy a drink
a. for yourself
b. for everyone in the group you’re with
c. for everyone in the pub




Answer:

1-You have to shake hands when you’re coming or going in Germany, but in Britain you usually only shake hands when you meet someone for the first time.
2-You have to give your present in public in the Middle East to show it’s not a bribe, but it’s good manners to give your present in private in Asia.
3-You mustn’t give cutlery in Latin America because it suggests that you want to cut off the relationship. You mustn’t give food or drink in Saudi Arabia because it suggests you think your hosts aren’t offering you enough to eat and drink.
You mustn’t give a clock in China because the Chinese word for clock is similar to the word for funeral.
4-‘Come any time’ means ‘I want you to visit me’ in India. If you don’t suggest a time and arrange a visit immediately, an Indian will think you are refusing the invitation. But if an English person says ‘Come any time’, they will think you are refusing the invitation. But if an English person says ‘Come any time’, they will think you are bad-mannered if you start fixing a date.
5-Offices are usually closed on Fridays in Muslim countries.
6-Americans usually mean ‘Yes’ when they nod their heads. An English person probably just means ‘I understand’, and an Asian is just showing interest.
7-It’s bad manners to discuss business at a social occasion in India.
8-In Thailand you have to shake hands very gently. It’s not like America where a weak handshake can indicate a weak character. In Japan you have to bow when you meet someone for the first time but in Thailand you have to put the palms of your hands together in a prayer gesture. And you mustn’t touch your head in Thailand. It’s bad manners.
9-You must treat your contact’s business cards with respect in Japan. You have to study them before you put them away and you mustn’t write on them.
10-In an English pub, you have to take your turn to buy a ‘round’ – a drink everyone in your group.