Topics: Ideal neighborhood

Living in an apartment is very different from living in a house, and being a good neighbor in an apartment building entails different considerations. Perhaps this is most obvious in the fact that walls, parking lots, laundry facilities, and more are shared with virtual strangers. While this situation may be intimidating at first and certainly can make for some difficult situations, there are steps you can take to be a good neighbor and make apartment living a pleasant experience.

Get to know your neighbors.
They don't have to become your best friends, but there are many reasons why knowing your nearest neighbors is a good idea. So, as you see them in the halls, laundry room, lobby, or by the mailboxes smile and say hello; if they appear to be receptive, introduce yourself, "Hi, I'm Joe, and I just moved into number 6."

Understand and follow the community rules.
Many apartment communities have rules for things like where you can park, where your pet can be, when certain facilities are open, quiet hours, trash pickup, and more. These should all be spelled out either in your lease or in a supplemental set of rules and regulations (these were discussed in our Lease Basics article). Know them and follow them. Your neighbors and landlord will thank you.

If you have children, understand that many of your neighbors don't.
And vice versa. Your childfree and childless neighbors probably are not used to tripping over toys, tuning out yelling, and other adjustments that come with living with children, so be considerate. For those of you without children, understand that your neighbors' children have a right to be there, and that they are, after all, children.

If you have pets, understand that not all your neighbors are animal lovers.
If your community allows pets, be aware of the rules concerning where they can be when they are outside your apartment. Don't let your dog roam free in the complex; promptly clean up any messes your pets make; and don't let your parrot practice his opera while you're at work. Be aware of any noise your pet(s) may make while you are at work or school. Ask a neighbor who's home during the day about it. And if your community doesn't allow pets, don't try to get away with it.

Observe reasonable hours for noisy activities.
Vacuuming, hanging pictures, moving heavy furniture, all these activities produce noise which can travel beyond the walls of your apartment. Make every effort to restrict these activities to daytime hours. A good rule of thumb is to restrict these extra noisy activities to the hours telemarketers can legally call you: 9am - 9pm. Check your lease and rental regulations, and follow any specified quiet hours for your community.

When it comes time to throw that party, remember your neighbors.
Let them know ahead of time when the party will be happening; though you needn't invite them, if it is going to be an open party, it would be a nice gesture. Make sure your guests understand the rules of your community -- including where it is okay to park -- and that they remain inside your apartment (or within your own personal area outside) during the party. And remember: even when you're having a party, quiet hours apply.

Be considerate, be ready to compromise a little, and keep the lines of communication open, and you will be able to live quite happily with your neighbors.

Noisy neighbors:
I have to admit that I have been quite fortunate in only once ever encountering a noise problem so annoying it sent me to the landlord for help. Many who live in apartment buildings, however, are not so lucky, and constant noise and disturbance can impair your quality of life, interfere with sleeping, and get in the way of work if you work from home.

So, what's the best approach when you've got a neighbor whose stereo, TV, pets, parties, etc. are driving you crazy? Following these simple steps (many adapted from an article by Nolo Press) can make your life easier.

Does the problem constitute a "nuisance"? Get a copy of your town's local noise ordinance. Acceptable noise levels are often defined in decibels, and many areas also have "quiet hours" during which acceptable noise levels are lower. If you are a "day sleeper" or early riser bothered by the everyday noises around you, please recognize that your situation might not constitute a nuisance as defined by the law. For example:

Probably not a nuisance

You go to bed at 8:00pm; children are on the playground until 9:00pm.
You sleep until noon; the landlord's lawn service starts mowing at 9:00am
Your neighbor's children/dogs play noisily on the lawn weekend afternoons while you're trying to work
Probably a nuisance
You are awakened after midnight regularly by the neighbor's stereo or TV
Your neighbor seems to do all redecorating and cleaning in the "wee hours"
The late night comings and goings of a neighbor's guests in their "altered" vehicles has your cat cowering under the bed
Speak with the neighbor. Make sure you approach him calmly without anger or excess emotion. If you're lucky, this can be both your first and your last step. If your problem falls into the first category above, speaking with the neighbor can alert him to your special situation and allow you to work out a solution together. Even if the problem qualifies as a nuisance, often the offending neighbor may not realize how much noise is escaping his apartment. Make a note of the date you spoke with the neighbor (you will want to document the entire process).

Speak with other neighbors. If the problem continues, perhaps complaints from other neighbors will help the situation. Ask others who are bothered to approach the offending neighbor and calmly ask him to do something about the problem. There is power in numbers, and it is good for the neighbor to know the problem is more than just one sensitive person.

Notify the neighbor in writing if the problem persists. Send the offending neighbor a copy of the local noise ordinance and a copy of any community rules and regulations noting noise restrictions with a letter requesting that the noise problem be taken care of. Let the neighbor know you will be speaking with the landlord. Keep a copy of the letter.

Speak with the landlord. Write to or speak with the landlord, outlining the specific problem and letting him know what steps you and other neighbors have taken to alleviate the situation. If other neighbors are bothered, ask them to contact the landlord at the same time -- again, there is power in numbers. When we were having a problem with some new neighbors, the management company didn't act until it had received complaints from a number of tenants in the same building. The landlord does have a legal obligation to provide you with a habitable dwelling, and that includes complying with local noise ordinances.

One can only hope that if the problem even gets that far, a reminder from the landlord and possibly a threat of eviction will stop the problem. If it doesn't work, however, speak again with the landlord. If the landlord doesn't live on premises and/or the community is managed by an outside company, there is no way for the landlord to know if a problem continues unless a tenant alerts him (and keeps alerting him as long as the problem persists).

Other approaches. If the neighbor doesn't respond even after repeated requests from the landlord and/or the landlord doesn't respond to your requests that something be done, there are further steps you might take:

Call the police. If you choose this approach, try to do so when the noise is happening so they can assess the situation. As with contacting the landlord, calls to the police from many neighbors can be more effective than a single complaint.
Sue the neighbor and/or the landlord. Before taking this step, please contact a lawyer who is familiar with this type of law and can advise you of your specific rights and redresses available.
Move. You might not like it, but if neither the neighbor nor the landlord are inclined to do something about the nuisance, you probably don't want to live there anyway. Consult a lawyer and see if you might be eligible to break your lease without penalty because of the ongoing nuisance.
Good luck dealing with your problem. And remember: don't resort to retaliation; that can just get you in trouble and rarely produces any positive results.
How to Be a Good Neighbor

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How To Be a Good Neighbor
Love thy neighbor ... or at least try to be a considerate one.

Steps:
1. Welcome new neighbors with an introductory note or a friendly chat.
2. Maintain the area around your home so that it's neat and attractive.
3. Be conscientious about noises that might disturb your neighbors, such as vacuum cleaners, music, loud talk and barking dogs.
4. End parties at a reasonable hour. While you're at it, invite your neighbors to come, too.
5. Return anything that you borrow from your neighbor, such as tools or appliances, as soon as possible. Express your gratitude when you do so.
6. Replace anything that belongs to your neighbor that you, your children, or your pets break or soil.
7. Respect your neighbor's privacy.
8. Offer to collect mail, water plants and watch the pets while your neighbors are away on a trip.
9. Learn from neighbors with cultural backgrounds different from your own.
10. Invite your neighbor over for a leisurely cup of coffee to discuss any problems you may have, or to share good news.
11. Throw a house party once a year on a weekend or holiday to socialize with your neighbors.

Tips:
If you have approached your neighbors about any problems you have with them and they do not respond to your polite requests to respect those around them, try contacting the appropriate officials, such as the rent board or your landlord (if you share the same landlord).
If they still don't comply, consider calling the police if you think your neighbors are breaking the law with respect to you or your property.
Recognize your neighbor
Say hello to your neighbor and smile even if the neighbor doesn't smile back at you. This is more true of the neighbors who live right next to you. Don't get too involved with the neighbors who live right next to you. There may me a misunderstanding later which cannot be resolved. Just say hi, smile, and nod your head. Possibly have a quick chat about the weather, but don't get real personal.